From the Music Industry to Motherhood to Skincare: How Sara Stokes Found Purpose Through Matrescence.
Image Courtesy of SKN TO SKN
Motherhood often transforms women in ways they could never anticipate, and for Sara Stokes, that transformation didn’t just reshape her sense of self, it also set her on an unexpected new path. Once immersed in the fast-paced world of the music industry, Sara found her priorities shifting after the birth of her two daughters. With that shift came both challenges and revelations: a newfound awareness of matrescence (the physical, emotional, and mental changes a woman experiences in becoming a mother), the struggles of postpartum anxiety, and the resilience to redefine her identity on her own terms.
It was during pregnancy, while struggling with sensitive, acne-prone skin and little guidance on what was safe to use, that Sara realised just how overlooked mothers often are. That gap eventually led her to create SKN TO SKN, a skincare line designed with motherhood in mind, but more importantly, it gave her a renewed sense of purpose and a way to channel her experiences into something meaningful.
In our conversation for Luminary Mothers, Sara shares the highs and lows of her motherhood journey, the courage it took to pivot careers, and the wisdom she wishes more mothers heard: that everything, the hard moments and the beautiful ones, is a phase.
By Alice Codford
ON MOTHERHOOD
Alice: Do you feel that motherhood has changed you? In what ways?
Sara Stokes: It changed me in ways I could never had imagined. First of all, did you know that the change in a woman after having children is called matrescence? I found this out after my second daughter, and it really helped me come to terms with my new sense of self. When you go from a child to an adult, it’s called adolescence, and you go through physical and mental changes. It’s the same with matrescence. Physically, I’ve changed, my clothes no longer sit the way they used to, and I’ve aged about 20 years. However, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and I’m in awe of my body for making 2 children (it’s mad to think I made 4 eye balls!). Mentally, it’s changed me too, some for the good and some for the bad. I suffered from postpartum anxiety, which I still need to manage on a daily basis. But it’s also given me a new sense of self-worth and determination. I used to be a people pleaser, but that had to change when I had children. Now, my daughters come first, and no one gets in the way of that. Becoming a mother has also given me an incredible drive and determination. I would never have been courageous enough to start SKN TO SKN if it weren’t for my kids.
Is motherhood what you expected? And what part of it has been most unexpected?
Sara Stokes: No, not at all, it’s harder! It sounds insane, but I didn’t realise how much I would love them! The love I have for them is something I’ve never experienced before, and I would do absolutely anything for them. I had a pretty full-on career in the music industry before starting SKN TO SKN, and it was all-consuming. When I was pregnant and expecting my first daughter, I had envisioned getting childcare so I could continue my career and everyone would be happy. But my daughter had other plans; she had separation anxiety from the moment she was born and would only settle with me (and still does, she’s 4!). But I also didn’t want to be anywhere else than with her, so the mental battle I experienced going back to work was so overwhelming, causing me to burn out and even get shingles all over my face from the stress of it all.
“I used to be a people pleaser, but that had to change when I had children — now my daughters come first and no one gets in the way of that.”
What has been one of the most difficult points of motherhood for you? Were you able to overcome it, and if so, how did you navigate through that challenging time?
Sara Stokes: The most difficult parts about motherhood is the way people treat you after you have children, especially in the workplace. There are countless stories of women being victims of maternity discrimination, which not only causes financial stress but causes mental stress, which doesn’t create a great start for young children. The knock-on effect is terrifying. I think people forget to be human sometimes. Then there’s this lane women are put in when they have children, scrutinised for every single thing they do, shamed and overlooked. Skincare for me was one of them, an industry where the majority of consumers are women yet it’s taken until 2025 for a skincare brand to be made available that’s formulated specifically for all stages of motherhood that’s not only made in collaboration with medical experts but even tested on pregnant women. I’m proud that it’s my brand SKN TO SKN, and I wish it was around when I was pregnant!
What has been one of the highest points of motherhood for you so far? Are there any particular moments or experiences that stand out?
Sara Stokes: There are so many, I adore being a mom. It’s changed me for the better, I am now learning to love myself and be kinder to myself, something I struggled with in my 20’s. I’m setting an example for my daughters and trying to teach them to be strong, independent and kind young women.
Image Courtesy of SKN TO SKN
After a particularly tough day of juggling parenting, work, and life in general, what do you do to recharge or unwind? What helps you find some calm amidst the chaos?
Sara Stokes: For micro-moments of calm to “turn my brain off”, I play Sudoku on my phone! I also love Pilates, walks and horse riding and try to do one of those things a few times a week for some “me-time”.
Have you found it easy or challenging to maintain your friendships since becoming a mother? And have you made any new mum-friends along the way?
Sara Stokes: Naturally when you go through a big shift in life, you lose some friends who aren’t on the same journey as you. It’s not to say I’ve lost friendships forever, but for the time being, some I’ve lost contact with. I’ve also purposely moved away from some toxic friendship groups, which are not healthy ones! Motherhood is a great way to make new friends too, and I’ve made some amazing mom friends who are friends for life!
“It changed me in ways I could never have imagined… I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and I’m in awe of my body for making two children.”
It is a fact that women often feel a loss of identity after becoming a mother, did you experience this?
Sara Stokes: Yes 100%. It’s only taken me until this year, 4 years after the birth of my first daughter, to “find myself” again. Discovering matrescence has helped me because it’s made me feel like what I was feeling was normal.
Do your children influence the way you think about beauty, wellness, or even business?
Sara Stokes: Yes! I don’t take wellness for granted, and working out is now a pleasure instead of a chore! Skin and hair care now has to be simple and quick because I have 5 minutes to make myself look presentable every morning.
What advice or words of wisdom do you want to share with other mothers that you wished you knew before becoming a mother?
Sara Stokes: Everything is a phase, the good and the bad!
What are your must-have products that you found the most useful, that you always recommend to new mums?
Sara Stokes: Elvie breast pump, so you can pump on the go. A great water bottle because you need to keep hydrated and I recently got Oshun electrolytes and it’s amazing!
ON THE BIRTH OF SKN TO SKN
Can you share the story of how the idea for SKN TO SKN first came to you?
Sara Stokes: I struggled with my skin during my pregnancy, intense sensitivity and hormonal acne, and I had no idea that the skincare products I was using was making it worse AND some were not pregnancy-safe. It wasn’t until I was 6 months pregnant that I found out you shouldn’t use certain skincare ingredients like retinol, salicylic acid and hydroquinone, all of which I was using. I went looking for pregnancy-safe skincare products and was told there wasn’t any and to go speak to my GP. It felt like another area of life where women like myself were sidelined and overlooked.
“I wanted to feel empowered by the products I bought, and I struggled to find a brand that spoke to me… so I started one myself.”
It feels like SKN TO SKN is more than just a business to you. Why is this brand so personal?
Sara Stokes: Because it’s a brand I wished existed when I was pregnant! I felt like I was forced into this new “motherhood lane” when I became pregnant and a new mom, my identity stripped from me, and the choices available to me in skincare and in fashion were so limited. I wanted a sophisticated skincare brand that was made for women like me in mind, one that I could put proudly on my bathroom shelf, not one that looked and was made for mum and baby. I wanted to feel empowered by the products I bought, and I struggled to find a brand that spoke to me… so I started one myself.
Image Courtesy of SKN TO SKN
Was there a particular moment or personal need that made you feel, I have to create this brand?
Sara Stokes: The moment I did our exclusive survey on 130 women who were TTC, pregnant or breastfeeding to find out their pain points, knowledge on skincare during pregnancy and what they wanted in a skincare brand was that moment. The results were overwhelming in all ways and cemented to me that there was a need and a want for a brand like SKN TO SKN.
What has been the most surprising challenge in building SKN TO SKN so far?
Sara Stokes: Just how expensive it is! Everything is a pay-per-play and costs are only going up and up. They say starting a business takes double the amount of time and double the amount of money, they weren’t lying about the latter!
And what’s been your proudest moment as a founder?
Sara Stokes: Getting feedback from our customers and community on how much they love our products and how much it’s helping them. That to me is a sign of success.
Working in the music industry, especially in management, requires so much entrepreneurial problem-solving. How did that time shape the way you approach running your own brand today?
Sara Stokes: It gave me the skill set and resilience to be a great problem solver and to keep going when things get tough.
Did you experience mum guilt when you started working on the business? How did you cope with this?
Sara Stokes: Mum guilt is something I struggle with on a daily basis, but starting this business has allowed me to weave in work life and family life simultaneously. I work so hard and around my kids so that I’m still present with them and can do the school drop off and pick up. Something I’d find hard to do if I was working in a traditional job, especially in the music industry.
“Getting feedback from our customers and community on how much they love our products… that to me is a sign of success.”
Do you find it hard to switch off work at the end of the day? Any tips on how to help with this?
Sara Stokes: Extremely hard, and I’m still figuring out how best to do it! I find working super late into the night is not healthy, so I am trying to get up early instead if I have a deadline to meet.
Image Courtesy of SKN TO SKN
What entrepreneurs do you look up to the most and why?
Sara Stokes: So many! I think Aimee Connelly (sculpted by Aimee) is incredible. Also, Michelle Kennedy, founder and CEO of Peanut, I love her story and the business she’s built. Peanut helped me in my early stages of motherhood.
How do you define success for yourself and your business at this stage?
Sara Stokes: Having people genuinely love our products and seeing the difference it’s making to them and their skin is a success to me. We want to strengthen our relationship with Boots and grow our DTC business, and get into more bathroom shelves of women who are on their motherhood journey and beyond.
Do you have any non-negotiables that help you keep grounded and avoid burnout?
Sara Stokes: Sleep and uninterrupted time with my kids.
What advice would you give to mothers who dream of starting something of their own but feel overwhelmed?
Sara Stokes: Take it one step at a time and take it week by week.
ON BEAUTY, STYLE & SELF-CARE
Has your personal style changed since becoming a mum? If so, how has it influenced the way you dress?
Sara Stokes: 100%! My body shape has changed, and I now have to dress more functionally. I can’t pick up my kids in heels!
What’s your go-to outfit when you want to feel both comfortable and confident?
Sara Stokes: Jeans, tee and loafers, classic!
Who or what inspires your approach to fashion and beauty?
Sara Stokes: I need to be comfortable because even a great outfit can look bad if you’re not comfortable. I also love Hailey Bieber and Sienna Miller’s sense of style.
Have you received or gifted yourself something special to commemorate the birth of your children?
Sara Stokes: Yes, I have a W and H necklace (first letter of my daughters’ names) that I wear all the time.
What is on your shopping list right now?
Sara Stokes: A pair of riding boots, silk shorts and cashmere sweaters.
What is your go-to handbag for everyday?
Sara Stokes: My SKN TO SKN tote bag!
Image Courtesy of SKN TO SKN
What does your own skincare routine look like?
Sara Stokes: I keep it super simple with our 3-step SKN TO SKN routine: cleanse, serum and moisturiser (our day moisturiser has SPF).
Which SKN TO SKN product do you personally reach for the most?
Sara Stokes: All of them! My desert island product, though, has to be our cleanser and serum.
What makeup products do you swear by daily?
Sara Stokes: My whole make-up bag is Merit!
LOOKING AHEAD
Where do you see SKN TO SKN in the next five years?
Sara Stokes: Available in more countries through our DTC, and in more retailers.
What’s the legacy you hope to create, both as a mother and as a founder?
Sara Stokes: That everything I do from work to motherhood, I did with passion and with a purpose.
And finally, what message would you like to leave with other Luminary Mothers who are reading this?
Sara Stokes: Be kind to yourself. Mums often put themselves at the bottom of the list, but it’s important to look after yourself so you can look after others too. 🤎
Follow Sara on Instagram here. Follow SKN TO SKN Here. Visit Their Website Here.