Kelly Rutherford on the Beauty of Motherhood and the Magic of Gossip Girl.
Image Courtesy of Kelly Rutherford
For Kelly Rutherford, motherhood is not simply something she does; it is something she reveres. In her words, it is “love in the purest form” — a force that evolves us, asks more of us, and, if we allow it to, transforms the way we see everything. Long admired for her elegance, beauty, and unmistakable presence, Kelly speaks about being a mother with the kind of depth and tenderness that makes clear where her truest sense of self lies.
Of course, for many, Kelly Rutherford will always be synonymous with Gossip Girl and her unforgettable portrayal of Lily van der Woodsen — a mother unlike any other on television at the time: glamorous, complicated, maternal, and entirely her own woman. It’s a role that continues to resonate even more deeply now, as the generation who once watched Lily from afar have grown into women and mothers themselves. Kelly sees that too: a rare portrayal of motherhood, a matriarch still figuring things out, and a reminder that mothers, too, are always evolving.
That same sense of evolution runs through every part of her life now. Whether she is reflecting on the beauty of raising children, speaking about success as a state of being, or collaborating with brands she genuinely loves, Kelly returns again and again to the same values: appreciation, instinct, craftsmanship, and love. She trusts her children’s advice, turns to beauty as both pleasure and expression, and finds grounding in the simplest things — time with her children, her dogs, and, of course, every mothers sidekick, coffee.
In this conversation with Luminary Mothers, Kelly reflects on the transformative power of motherhood, the lessons that come with listening to your children, the enduring legacy of Gossip Girl, and the beauty rituals, style inspirations, and daily non-negotiables that shape her world now. The result is a portrait of a woman who remains timeless not because she stands still, but because she continues to grow with grace.
By Alice Codford
ON MOTHERHOOD
Alice: I recently read that you said, “I think being a mom makes me feel the most beautiful.” That’s such a powerful and intimate reflection. In what ways has motherhood changed how you see yourself, not just outwardly, but at your core?
Kelly Rutherford: It’s just the most precious thing in the world. If you look at nature it’s just so in balance. We share this with the natural world. It does so much to evolve us if we allow it to. Mothers are the portal. Children bring in the knowledge. And it is Love in the purest form.
What has surprised you most about motherhood?
Kelly Rutherford: That we are challenged by society.
“Mothers are the portal. Children bring in the knowledge. And it is love in the purest form.”
What has been one of the more challenging seasons of motherhood for you, and what helped carry you through it?
Kelly Rutherford: Going through a divorce. Doing my best to keep love in my heart and visualising our kids getting through it in a beautiful way and feeling loved.
Can you share a moment in motherhood that has stayed with you, one of those highs you know you’ll never forget?
Kelly Rutherford: Giving birth and the love you feel and responsibility that comes with it. Also that each child really comes in knowing what they are here to do. We just have to be present and listen.
Kelly with her son, Hermés Giersch
What has motherhood taught you over the years, and has it changed the way you think about ambition, success, and where you choose to place your energy?
Kelly Rutherford: That our words are powerful and the way we say things, speaking with awareness. Turning worry and the seemingly negative into positive affirmations. For example instead of saying are you ok all of the time, to say “Do you feel loved?”, “How am I doing as a parent?”, “Any notes?”.
You became a mother around the time Gossip Girl entered such a major chapter of your life, and later welcomed your daughter while the show was still filming. What was it like stepping into motherhood while also navigating such a defining moment in your career?
Kelly Rutherford: It was a lot of mother energy. It was such a beautiful and magical time in my life.
“Each child really comes in knowing what they are here to do. We just have to be present and listen.”
What is one of the best pieces of advice you would give to any new mom right now?
Kelly Rutherford: Always trust yourself.
ON CAREER HIGHLIGHTS
Looking back on your career, from iconic on-screen roles to the work you’re doing now across fashion, beauty, and design, what feels most meaningful to you in this chapter?
Kelly Rutherford: It’s all really meaningful. I am so thankful for all of these experiences and the wonderful people I have worked with.
Gossip Girl remains such a defining part of your legacy. What did playing Lily van der Woodsen reveal to you about women, motherhood, or identity at that point in your life?
Kelly Rutherford: That there are unlimited ways to be a mother and that we are learning on the job, so be able to say sorry to your kids along the way. They really appreciate it. And to listen and ask them early, “What are you here to do and how can I support you?” I loved playing Lily. It was the role of a mother I had not seen in TV before and one that I could relate to.
“It was the role of a mother I had not seen in television and one that I could relate to.”
Years later, Lily van der Woodsen continues to inspire women who watched Gossip Girl in a way that few other characters seem to. Why do you think she has stayed with so many women, particularly now, as so many of those viewers have grown up and become mothers themselves?
Kelly Rutherford: It’s a view on motherhood we rarely get to see. And a matriarch. The writers did such a great job. To show that we as patents have our own issues and that we are still figuring it out.
Your career has evolved in such an organic way, from acting into collaborations that feel deeply aligned with your personal aesthetic and point of view. How have you known which opportunities truly feel like you?
Kelly Rutherford: It’s just part of an appreciation of beauty. And the collabs have been with brands that I love.
Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen in Gossip Girl, The CW
Do your children ever influence the way you think about new projects or collaborations, or help you decide what feels worth saying yes to?
Kelly Rutherford: Yes, I ask them for advice all of the time. They have great taste and are honest and I appreciate that. I always include them in what I am doing. It’s such a joy and really makes it all so much more fulling.
“Success is really a feeling… It’s a state of being.”
You’ve recently collaborated with Véronique Gabai and with The TwentyFour Six, and both projects feel so elegant, intentional, and personal. What draws you to collaborations like these, and what do you look for before saying yes?
Kelly Rutherford: I have known Veronique for 15 years and have so much respect for her as a woman and in business. So the collaboration is so natural. I know that she has super high standards when it comes to the quality of her perfume, so to work together in this way is just so fun.
I love 24/6 and what June is doing with so many great creatives. It is also an opportunity to work with my brother. He has such great style.
What does success mean to you now, compared with what it meant earlier in your career?
Kelly Rutherford: It’s really a feeling. Yes, it’s monetary in this world. And it’s also about appreciation of life. And living it in ways that are fulfilling. Being with the people you love and care about. It’s a state of being.
Image Courtesy of Kelly Rutherford
ON STYLE & SELF-CARE
You’ve become such a lasting style reference for so many women, from your years on screen to the way you dress now. How would you describe your relationship with style at this point in your life?
Kelly Rutherford: I love beauty. Craftsmanship. Artisans. I love to make vision boards. I love magazines.
You’re often described as TV’s chicest mom and even the OG Birkin mom, but how much does that image actually reflect who you are in real life?
Kelly Rutherford: The intention was to create a character that was different that the mothers I had seen before. More like the women I grew up with and admired. So I suppose I brought a lot of my own style to the character. Eric Damon really went above and beyond with all of our characters on Gossip Girl. And was so open and such a pleasure to work with. I have so much respect for what he did on the show.
“It’s a view on motherhood we rarely get to see. And a matriarch.”
What’s currently on your wish list?
Kelly Rutherford: A massage. A spa vacation. A new home and to decorate.
What’s your go-to outfit formula for feeling put-together fast?
Kelly Rutherford: A dress or jeans and t-shirt, and a great handbag and shoes.
Kelly Rutherford’s Elevator Selfie Outfits
Your Hermès bags have become almost as iconic as some of your roles. What is your everyday handbag, and do you remember your first Hermès piece?
Kelly Rutherford: Yes, my first Hermès bag was a size 28 Kelly in black box with gold hardware. I bought it 30 years ago.
Are there any new brands you’ve discovered recently that you’ve been especially drawn to, the ones you find yourself reaching for on repeat?
Kelly Rutherford: Britt Sisseck, Cayumas, Queens of Archive, Paolina shirts, Lhasa and Libelula jewellery. So many!
Your beauty approach seems to have become more and more refined over time. What are your skincare and makeup heroes, the ones you always recommend to friends?
Kelly Rutherford: I like Living Libations Rose, the collection. And V Réserve Beauty, Armani foundation… and massages.
Image Courtesy of Kelly Rutherford
What has your teenage daughter taught you about beauty, self-expression, or even just seeing yourself differently?
Kelly Rutherford: I ask her about so much. She is so smart and has great style. She edits my photos for Instagram. Showed me how to take the mirror selfies. So thankful for her advice on about any subject.
What are the non-negotiables in your life that help keep you grounded and protect you from burnout?
Kelly Rutherford: Time with my kids and my dogs. And coffee.
Follow Kelly on Instagram here.